50. You are over 30 and there is still someone in your life that you refer to as “coach”. - I am not quite 30, but this is definitely true
49. Your last bike cost more than your first car. -Not 100% sure, but I think so.
48. You have peed outdoors more times in the last year than you did in your first year of university. -Possibly :)
47. You think of mowing the lawn as a form of cross-training. –What else would it be?
46. You’ve worn a heart-rate monitor to bed. –I have napped with it on.
45. And it wasn’t when you were sleeping. -My mom reads my blog. Moving on...
44. You refer to the front hall of your house as the “transition area”. –It is more like the corner of my apartment.
43. When you get home from a training session at the pool, the newspaper is just being delivered to your house. -Yes
42. You have changed more flat tires this year than light bulbs. –I don’t want to jinx myself, so I am not going to answer this. J
41. The most frequently used software program on your computer is the one that keeps track of your workouts. –Yep!
40. You have no idea why they call Cal Ripken Jr. “Iron Man” when, after all, he was a baseball player. -Cal Ripken Jr. was a hell of a baseball player, but I cannot see him doing an IM.
39. The first three items on your grocery list are Gatorade, power bars, and gels. –More like Gatorade, Uncrustables and chews.
38. When you floss at night, it’s to get the bugs out of your teeth. –Sometimes I feel that way. Swallowing bugs stinks!
37. Your legs move in a cycling motion while you are asleep. –Only when I am dreaming about cycling.
36. When you see a drop of blood, your first reaction is that you spilled some red Gatorade. –I am not a fan of blood, so no. My first reaction is YUCK!
35. You know how far you biked and ran last year, to one-tenth of a kilometer. –Last year, no. Last month- hell yes.
34. You think the ultimate form of wallpaper is about 64 racing bibs. –Awesome workout room décor!
33. A 19-year old kid who works in a bicycle shop know more about you than your next-door neighbor. –Yes!
32. Your children are more likely to recognize you if you put your bicycle helmet. –My cats don’t care what I am wearing as long as I feed them. :)
31. You have a vanity licence plate with the word “Kona” in it. –I wish!
30. About half the shirts you own have at least a dozen logos on the back of them. –90% of t-shirts are from athletic events.
29. You don’t find the word “fartlek” in the least bit amusing. –No, it is painful!
28. When you refer to your “partner”, you mean neither your spouse nor the co-owner of your business but the person you run or bike with three times a week. –Sorry, Captain.
27. You shave your legs more often than your wife. –If the Captain was training and racing with me, this would probably be true.
26. The closest you came to punching somebody was when they disagreed with your position on whether wearing a wetsuit amounts to cheating. –Haha! That would be a fun conversation to watch.
25. It doesn’t feel right that you can’t “clip “ in and out of the pedals in your car. –I do love my speed play pedals.
24. There is a group of people in your life about whom you are more likely to know how fast they can swim 100 meters than their surnames or occupations. –Unfortunately this is true.
23. Some of the shorts you wear today are tighter than the ones you wore in high school. –Yep! Got to love tri-tops and tri-shorts.
22. You are frustrated with the latest Garmin Forerunner because its live readings have a margin of error of approximately three per cent. –I am not good fast enough for that to matter. Maybe next year. J
21. There’s a separate load of laundry every week that is just your workout clothes. -Definitely!
20. One of your goals this year is to be faster at getting out of your wetsuit. –Any tips? PAM works pretty well.
19. You failed high school chemistry but you could teach a course on lactic acid. –Maybe not a full course.
18. All you want for Christmas is something called a carbon crank set. –How about a tri-bike with a carbon crank set??
17. You wore a digital watch to your wedding. –Not married, but I will probably have a tan line from digital watch when I do get married
16. You have to have completely separate meals from your spouse because he or she is on a low-carb diet. –The Captain seems to love carbs as much as me. Thank goodness!
15. Your bicycle is in your living room. –Damn right!
14. You have stocked up on a brand of cereal because it has a coupon that will save you money on your next two pairs of running shoes. –Hey, this sport is expensive.
13. In order to establish a new personal best, you considered peeing without getting off your bike. –Me, pee on my bike??? Never …
12. One of your proudest moments is when you lost a toenail. –Losing toenails is the norm. I usually don’t have all 10 at once.
11. When a car follows too closely behind you, you accuse the driver of “drafting”. –Sometimes I am that car. L
10. When you went for a job interview, you wrote your social insurance number on your arm in black marker. –I might have to try that next time.
9. Your spouse cried during Terms of Endearment; you cried during the television coverage of the Hawaii Ironman. –What can I say, I’m a crier.
8. You are comfortable discussing the sensitivity of your nipples with other guys. –Nope, but I do discuss saddle sores, blisters and chaffing with other girls. Body glide is my friend.
7. Your spouse is looking forward to the day when you will slow down and just run marathons. –The Captain is probably counting down the days until IM is over.
6. You have paused in front of the mirror in your wetsuit and thought, “Hey, I look like Spiderman.” –I like to think of myself as Cat Woman.
5. You see no issue with talking about treatments for chafing or saddle rash at the dinner table. –Of course not! Chafing and saddle sores are tame for my family- just ask Fuzzy. :P
4. You recently asked your spouse out for dinner by asking if he or she wanted to “fuel up” together. –I will try that on the Captain, and let you know how it goes.
3. For you, “bonking” no longer has a sexual connotation. –Enough said. :)
2. The magazine secretly tucked under your mattress has pictures of really expensive bicycles in it. –Fast bikes are so HOT!
And the No. 1 sign you’re obsessed:
1. Most of this list doesn’t seem like a joke to you. –Love this article!
Thanks Spence Smith for an awesomely funny, yet accurate article. Happy almost Friday!